Volunteering as a couple or family can be an incredibly fulfilling experience. Our innovative programme, Grandmentors, offers volunteering opportunities that provides support to young people leaving the care system by pairing them with mentors over the age of 50. Recently, we spoke with couple, Val and David, who joined our Grandmentors programme in Midlothian as volunteer mentors. They each mentor a young person separately. Val mentors a young person named Aled (not his real name), while David mentors Tom (not his real name). During our conversation, Val and David shared how they appreciate the support they receive from each other while mentoring. They find it helpful to exchange ideas since their mentees come from different backgrounds and have different needs.
“Being a Grandmentor is an opportunity that many people would enjoy. It allows you to set the terms of your volunteering and is completely within your control. The volunteer mentoring approach is not one-size-fits-all. It is a one-on-one relationship between us and the mentee.”
Val told us; “We have always volunteered, and after retiring, we wanted to find a volunteering opportunity that would enable us to use our skills and offer us flexibility. We came across Grandmentors, and it turned out to be a perfect match for us. As grandparents, we found it even more appealing. Volunteering as a mentor has been an excellent experience. Although it requires a significant commitment, it allows us to maintain flexibility and control over our time. The volunteer mentoring approach is not one-size-fits-all, and it is tailored to our preferences and the mentees’. It is a one-on-one relationship between us and the mentee.”
David clarified that he and Val mentor different people separately; “After we completed the Grandmentor volunteer training together, we were assigned different mentees. Our mentees are not aware of each other or us. They only know that we mentor them based on their unique needs, and they don’t know anything about our personal lives. The approach between the Grandmentor and the mentee is one-to-one.”
David explains the benefits of mentoring as a couple by saying, “One advantage is that we can discuss our mentee with each other, which automatically provides peer support. While maintaining confidentiality, we can support each other a lot in the role. Having someone to talk to and receive feedback from makes a huge difference. We consider ourselves fortunate to have each other for mutual support in this role. It helps us articulate our thoughts, identify areas for improvement and learn from each other’s experiences.”
Both Val and David support young people with unique needs and pathways. David believes that he has had a positive impact on his mentee Tom by introducing him to new experiences such as visiting museums and art galleries. Tom is an introvert who tends to spend time alone, which can lead to isolation. By encouraging Tom out of his comfort zone, David has helped him gain a fresh perspective on the world around him; “Tom needs additional support and guidance to help him in life. He has now set his sights on joining the Armed Forces and is going through the application process, which I am helping him with.”
Through consistent mentoring, Val helps Aled to build resilience and grow in confidence. Aled has a history of being in and out of the care system and, as his Grandmentor, Val provides him with stability in an otherwise chaotic life. Val told us; “Aled is a very intelligent and exceptionally observant person who notices everything. I once took him to a Grayson Perry exhibition, and although Aled didn’t say much about it at the time, he later brought it up in great detail, remembering everything. I was completely blown away! Despite his complexities, Aled is a pleasant person to be with, and I feels there is a great deal of hope for him.”
Val actively listens to Aled and provides positive guidance, encouraging him to start thinking about job options as he prepares to leave school soon. Val believes that leaving school will be a significant change for Aled, and it’s essential to prepare him in a positive way.
Having peer support helps Val to mentor Aled; “It helps to be able to talk to David when I’ve been with Aled as although Aled lives in a world that I’m aware of, it is a world where I’ve not been involved in, so being able to confide in someone helps me to process it all. As a Grandmentor you have to work within the boundaries of the service, however, both David and I feel valued by our mentees.”
Both Val and David would like to continue as Grandmentors and be matched with other young people once the time with the current mentees comes to an end. David told us; “We feel invested in the young people and want them to succeed and find their own path. It is interesting to meet somebody from outside your normal circumstances and hear another perspective on life. The benefits can work both ways. It is nice to be involved in a young person’s world.”
For David the support from the Grandmentors team helps the overall experience; “The structure of the Grandmentors programme is very clear and helpful. Boundaries are in place that make the experience even more positive and helps the Grandmentor relationship. If the relationship is not working either then the mentor or mentee can call time on it.”
The flexibility of the Grandmentor role appeals to Val; “Being a Grandmentor is an opportunity that many people would enjoy. It allows you to set the terms of your volunteering and is completely within your control. If you are a person with initiative, this is an ideal role as it is flexible and provides an enormous amount of positive perspective in terms of what you can achieve. Mentoring is an incredible experience, and Grandmentoring is a unique way to help young people.”
“We feel invested in the young people and want them to succeed and find their own path.”
If you are looking for a way to make a difference in your community, consider volunteering with Grandmentors. One of the unique aspects of the programme is that couples like Val and David can join together, providing mutual support and making the experience even more fulfilling. We hope their story will inspire other couples and families to volunteer.
